Opinions are so uninteresting.

We are all raised to believe that having an opinion is very important, and that being able to express it or stand up for it is a sign of a strong person. In a world of ego identification that makes total sense, doesn’t it? If I live my life as my ego, then everything about me is about that ego, and since ego has to maintain a sense of separateness from everything around it, opinions are a great way to prove and solidify its existence. For if I have no opinions, I may as well not exist. Having an opinion and making it known to the world is the mark of the ego. It is expressing its existence and showing its uniqueness and strength to the world, and most of the time competing with or aligning itself with others’ opinions. It makes it feel real.

Plus, through the constant exchange of opinions with others, the ego can measure and test out its validity. ‘How real am I?’ it asks. And through the constant forming, shaping, expressing and having of opinions, it answers that question. It makes no difference if my ego believes whether its opinions are worthy, the best in the world, unworthy or the worst in the world, these are simply expressions of the opposite ends of the same idea: that I am somehow my ego. Whether I create that ego to be weak or strong, and the opinions to go with it, still only gives me the limited ego experience.

Within this framework, opinions are so interesting and basically serve as the currency of ego exchange. They are traded and (e)valuated constantly and most people want to be part of this market. That is the world of media today. If you take a moment and watch any news media, talk show, or read a paper, blog, or, for that matter, social media, you will find this market of opinions. Everyone tries to have the most original, interesting, powerful and self-assured opinion possible to be the most attractive to the buyers out there. They talk over each other, they judge other opinions to no end, they bully and persist with their opinion to be the most right. That is the state of affairs.

I used to be addicted to this opinion market, but not anymore. When I now find myself having an opinion on something, my ‘ego alert’ comes on and lets me know that I am in ego identification mode. I shut up, get quiet, call a time out on myself, and let it pass. For whenever there is an opinion going on, ego is afoot. Living with (rather than as) my ego, I still have my own views on things, I still agree or disagree with things, I still like and dislike … but in that space it is merely my preference for the moment. It’s a very different feeling. And much easier to be with. Not only is it not attached to my sense of self (worth), it is also something I can much more easily change and thus it remains fluid and flexible. I don’t have to express preferences to validate me, I don’t have to convince others of them to feel superior or right, I don’t have to defend them, because they are not me, they are simply something I feel at the moment.

Funny enough, to the ego, preference looks weak. Opinions are where it’s at in the ego world. This is a big lie. Because the rigid never does as well in life as the fluid; one breaks eventually, the other moves and evolves.

Opinions are rigid and separate people. Preferences are fluid and keep our minds open. Which one do you prefer?

Cheers,

Ralf