Fear is a sneaky little bastard.

What has amazed me over the past couple of years is that it shows up in ways and places that I would have never thought of as fear. I remember reading about the idea that there are only two emotions we as human beings can feel, love or fear. I liked that. It made sense. One was the ‘good’ feeling, the other the ‘bad’ feeling, but both were part of the deal and of essential nature. This whole notion has changed for me, because these two emotions only exist in the realm of ego. Let me explain.

In the writing of my book, I was often confused and left in disbelief with what came out. One of these was the idea that love and fear as we talk about them are actually an illusion which only exists in a world of duality. Within the realm of ego, duality is necessary, because without it, there would be no ‘me’ to experience. Beyond that duality, there only is love. A love basically beyond human understanding, but not experience. That love is the real deal, it’s the space where all exists, before, in, and after time that is. Not that I understand that, but I can feel it.

Love and fear as opposites makes perfect sense, but the love in this case is actually fear in sheep’s clothing. We think of fear as this emotion that is frightening, upsetting, or in some way negative. Since love feels the opposite of this, it certainly does not feel connected to fear. But it is. This love is always attached to some thing, be it a person, idea or circumstance, it does not matter what the focus of my love is, it is attached to it. When this attachment is lost or no longer available, the love is lost as well. Deep down we know this, which is why we will often go to absurd lengths to keep around that to which our love is attached. And we are thus constantly afraid of losing it. What if my partner won’t love me anymore? What if I can’t do/have my favorite thing in the world anymore? That is some scary shit.

This is also why fear is so sneaky. It shows up in both of these ways, and when it comes dressed up as love, it really fools us. This is a very limited way to experience life to say the least. It never lets up, because if we are in fear, we try to get away from it as much as we can, or try to face and overcome it, and when we feel that attached love, we’ve got to make sure that we keep it around.

The other love is not attached to anything. It is simply a deep feeling that arises in us regardless of our life situation. It is utterly reassuring and puts us at instant ease. With it we are thrust into the present moment, and in the present there is nothing to fear, because fear needs the past and future to exist. With the real thing, we are (in) love, period. That is fearless, because there is nothing to lose, nothing to hold on to. It is freedom.

So here’s to catching on to that pesky and sneaky fear in our lives.

Cheers,

Ralf