Haven’t been here in a while, life got a little busy. And while doing the life thing, something occurred to me repeatedly during the last few weeks. ‘Dropping it’ is absolutely essential.

A couple of people have read my book and liked it, and some of those people know me. It has happened a couple of times that someone has said to me ‘You wrote that book and look how you are acting right now…’ That has always struck me as odd, and frankly I didn’t know how to respond to it, people have said it when I was having a bad moment and acted accordingly, when I was in my ego, tired, caught in a mood. I would almost feel guilty for being ‘less than perfect.’ Then I started to check myself, especially when my mind was in a funk, and began to be critical of my own spiritual understanding, development, etc. No fun. Once I dropped the self-critical analysis and relaxed about it, it hit me: I dropped it.

Apparently there is a belief out there that when you reach some sort of level of understanding or ‘expertise’ in self discovery and awareness, you stop having human frailties. As in you never lose your cool, are always calm and collected and have meaningful things to say about stuff all the time. That is not only a tall order, but simply a bunch of bs. As long as we are human, we are human. We will lose it, have bad moments, think thoughts that make us act like an idiot, or occasionally a total insensitive jerk. It happens. What matters is what we do with it. Like dropping it.

As I was becoming more aware of the analysis I was doing on me, I also noticed that whenever I would get into a funk about something, I would drop it as quickly as I started it. And once I dropped it, it was gone. And with that the feeling was gone as well, and quietness returned to my mind. I first noticed it with my daughter when she would get into a typical two year old state of terror about something, and I would react to it. Once I saw myself reacting to her and saw how we were entering into a sparring match of wills, I would simply drop my thought and idea about her behavior and instantly calm down. This removed any emotion or reaction I had been experiencing with her and leave me in a state of calm observation. As a result, two things would happen: I would have completely different ideas and options available in how to be with her, and she would notice that I wasn’t reacting to her anymore, which would often shift her state of mind as well.

After I caught on to this I began to see my ‘crazy’ moments not as much as a reason to feel bad about my own level of consciousness or development, questioning everything I may or may not know about this ‘stuff,’ but instead began to see the opportunities to perfect the art of dropping it. This has added another level of fun to living life. When I notice me having a bad moment and saying something mean or acting like an ass, I immediately drop it. Just let it go. Allow myself to accept that I am human, and move on. It is amazing how instant the shift is. I go from ego id to being present to my mind and the moment, and thus am pulled out of the drama. Ego id drops and with it this incessant need to be right, to have to convince the other, to show someone what they really should do or see, etc. And it changes the situation and experience, the other person tends to notice the shift in energy, and thus the interaction will change as well. Pretty cool.

I realized that the comments people made about my state of imperfection were absolutely accurate, I just took them personally because at that moment I was of course in my ego identified state, and thus reacted to it. No learning or insight in that. Once I caught on to the awareness around dropping it, and that wanting to be more aware in my life did not mean being super human, I was free to be human. And as a result I have been reacting less, getting into funks a little less often, enjoying life yet a bit more.

As always, I invite you to play with this as well. Next time you are in a ‘thing’ with someone or a situation, when being right or wrong is what it’s all about, stop for a moment and ask yourself whether you want to be right or wrong, or simply drop it to see what may be on the other side. You will instantly feel better, because dropping stuff makes us lighter.

Cheers,

Ralf