Monthly Archives: September 2012

by

Fargo

I had the pleasure of being asked to give a short speech at the Barnes & Noble in Fargo, ND last Thursday and had so much fun doing it. I am more of an introvert, so hanging out with and talking to a bunch of people takes energy out of me, but this was a wonderful event. It was themed ‘New Author Night,’ and there were probably another eight authors besides me there. It is amazing to be able to share something about your own adventures in writing and publishing and then have people come up to you afterwards and engage in the most interesting conversations with you.

As opposed to my earlier life, where something like this would have been about me, me, me, it is now about simply being in the presence of other beings and listening to their life stories. Everyone of us is in the same boat on this planet, we are born, we do some shit, and then we die. Only that this entire concept is just that, a concept. One that we have made up at some point, and continue to make up. Operating from that perspective (which I find myself in most of the time these days) makes meeting people so interesting. Every single person is a fascinating collection of stories, some more serious than others, some more happy, sad, exciting, whatever it is at that moment. None of it is really who we are though, they are simply ideas we formed in our minds about what something means to us, how that is important or not, and what it means about us. We do this, it is not who we are. When we forget that we are a simply doing these things, we get lost in our stories and become them, and our perspective on our life goes right along with it. That’s when we find ourselves being depressed, shy, upset, sad, happy, excited, etc., rather than simply feeling those things temporarily. All of it is simply eternally temporary. More on that next time.

I had a wonderful time in Fargo. I also got to sell a few books and am continuously baffled and excited to see that perfect strangers are willing to buy and read it. I also was given a hilarious and very reflective book, How Fargo of You, by its author, Marc de Celle, and am really enjoying it. You should check it out here.

Cheers,

Ralf

by

First one

This will be interesting. Not only did I never intend to write my book, Flying Leap, I most certainly never expected to start a blog based on it. As the book is at least partially a result of a personal transformation which happened under the oddest of circumstances in the most unexpected manner, I guess this is the natural result. As the years passed since that initial experience, I continue to change and see myself and the world in new and different ways on a daily, actually a moment to moment basis. I often make observations about all things life, and my wife has assured me that others would enjoy, if not benefit from these observations.

All of this is based on my experience of seeing myself operate one day. It was mind blowing and boggling. I saw myself plot and manipulate, control and assess, and generally make me feel like the most sickening and self-absorbed human being I had ever been in the presence of. I had no idea who this ‘other’ was, that was experiencing ‘me’ in such a visceral way. This happened out of the blue and practically paralyzed me. I did not want to speak or express myself in any way, because all that was coming out of me, or rather was in me wanting to get out, was so nauseating and disgusting, it was unbelievable. I had stumbled onto my ego.

For lack of a better word, I was a complete mess for the next three weeks and had a hard time functioning. On the one hand I thought I was nuts, and on the other hand I knew that something I had wanted all my life was indeed now happening to me. I just didn’t expect it to be like that. Over the next three years, I learned and began to understand what had occurred. I had discovered how my ego, or the collected memories of my life, had become me. Once that had become clear, I realized that there was a whole other way to live: instead of being my ego I could live with it. Big difference, let me tell you.

I reckon that everything I will post on this blog from time to time will be about this difference of living with oneself, and how it affects not only how you live your life, but who you are and thus show up. It is actually all quite simple, but also so all encompassing that words ultimately fail in describing any of it in any meaningful manner. It has to be experienced. I hope to inspire this in some people through my book and this blog.

So here we are. Let’s see if I can get this thing going and, most of all, make it interesting enough and keep it up.

Cheers,

Ralf