Such a broad term, such a small word with such implications … I think of it as the emotional package deal that comes with ego identification. Actually reminds me of a scene in a movie I really enjoyed years ago, Galaxy Quest, where the main character, Tim Allen as an accidental space ship captain, flies his ship into the oncoming evil nemesis’ ship. The evil captain tells him that he will die since he has no chance against his ship, to which Tim Allen responds that Captain Evil should see what he can do about the dozens of space mines he’s dragging behind him. He makes a sharp turn, and all the mines hit the evil ship right in the gut. That to me is how insecurity comes in tow of that shiny and great looking ego ship. You don’t know it until it hits you. And that’s that.

We just have to deal with this pesky emotion when we live the ego identified life. No way around it. Wherever the ego ship goes, it has some good insecurity mines in tow. They not only pack a punch, they also hit you unexpectedly at times and can blow you to pieces if they hit you just right. And who has better aim than our own ego? No one.

Insecurity can show up in almost limitless ways. It can creep up on us slowly or suddenly hit seemingly out of the blue, it can be like an old, pussy wound, it can be highly charged or underlying and festering like a slow growing virus. It can also come along hiding behind a great looking outfit, and show off how great, wonderful, the best and most lovable we are, only to hide under that shiny story, like the man behind the curtain. I may think that I am on top of the world and a gift to myself and the world, but of course underneath this lurks the insecurity of losing all of it. I may have achieved some goal I created, and the ego will let me have my moment of satisfaction, but only until it makes a sharp turn and gives me a taste of the insecurity bombs in tow. ‘Great that I have made it, but will it last? This was great, but what’s next? Is someone else already beating me? Am I going to ever do this again?’ are just some of the punches that hit me.

Then there is the obvious insecurity ordinance which tells us that we may as well not even try, aren’t liked, a loser, not appreciated, hate ourselves and possibly the world, or are constantly reminded of our own shortcomings by looking at all the people around us who are more successful, prettier and simply better at everything than us. So we either have to try and better them, destroy them or simply avoid them. Insecurity really sucks. In whatever form it shows up, it feels very unsettling on the one end and like crap on the other. It’s a first rate ego created emotion. That is also its telltale sign, because like any feeling that our ego produces, an emotion always has two qualities: It has some level of drama to it, and it’s always attached to something. Be it a circumstance, a person, a goal or condition of any kind, it is attached to something. Like those mines behind the space ship, ultimately all emotion is attached to me, me, me.

But there is another way. Once we catch on to our own ego identification and disengage from it, we see the ego ship coming and know full well what it has in tow. We can then get out of the way and not even get involved with the shiny ego ship. At first this takes some maneuvering on our part, and the ego ship keeps coming at us, but we get better and better at evading it all.

In other words, getting uninterested in our ego identification also packs a punch. Outside of ego id, insecurity has nothing to hit. We get to simply be ourselves without the limitations of insecurity. This does not mean that we think we’re perfect, it means that we are who we are at any moment, doing the best we can do; and we are in total acceptance of ourselves at any moment. In that kind of space we are more creative, aware, responsive and free of doubt. Oh, and we also have no fear in that state. None. Seriously. As a matter of fact, that is the defining feature of this feeling: It is not attached to anything in particular. Ever. It is simply a state of being. And thus no fear, there is no room for it. Out of that feeling we do whatever we are inspired to do, sans any insecurity. Freedom baby!

The next time you find yourself in the middle of an emotional insecurity explosion, remember that you can stop the ship, beam off it and get back on the other ride, the one that takes you wherever you want to go, no mines in tow or anywhere near.

Cheers,

Ralf